I look to You, and not to this world.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: Holding On demo by Planetshakers
Mood: Good =) Loving PlanetUNI <3

CAMP WAS AWESOME BEYOND WORDS.

SERIOUSLY.

It was like the best church camp I’ve ever been to ever. 2nd’s “The Ultimate Dare” when I was 15. Little did I know that this camp was actually a slight continuation from “Encounter” when I was 16. Just a litte, but still, yes! God is so so faithful =)

And this is just the start. God revealed so much and like, I really have never gotten so much out of camp.

i believe that Ps Matt or Ps Sam wouldn’t have delivered that word you had from God as clearly as you did to me.

God, all for You.

I really don’t know how to get this started, but like people, ask me if you want to know about camp and all sort. I will be most happy to share!

Can’t wait to see all the photos [hint to Wei Xiong and Jon Tan! and whoever!]

Now I’m ready. I really am.

I’m going to pursue my leaders like never before, I’m going to do life with Holy Spirit never before. He isn’t the Holy Spirit, He is Holy Spirit. My focus is on God, and nothing else. Even if You take the visions, prophesies, gifts away, I will still praise You. I will still love You.

This is it guys, and because I have promised God and my leaders, this is my promise to my Urbanlife [which is going to multiply tomorrow and I'm extremely _____ (I don't really have a word)]:

To all You mighty women of God: I will do all that I can to help you in unleashing your potential in which God has called you to be. I will give up anything, except my salvation, to fulfil your destiny in Christ Jesus.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about the boys in my Urbanlife, but yes, I will help too. Hee.

I know what I want, I know what God wants for me! And I will cling on. Whatever people may say, whatever comes my way, I will believe.

Because I don’t just know, I’ve got the internal revelation.

Walk in the authority that you have =)

Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room?

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: Stranger by Hilary Duff
Mood: Grumpy

If you preach another line to me, I’ll so snap at you.

PMS+NO COFFEE FOR ABOUT 10 DAYS ALREADY= GRUMPY SHIYOU

If there’s one thing I suck at, it’s probably relationships with people.

This is getting too hard.  Damn

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‘Cause I know I’ll sink without You

Venue: My apartment, on my bed!
Listening to: Lifeline by Brooke Fraser
Mood: Touched

Went shopping today with Diane and Fel. Yes, I know, I was a bad bad girl because I’m the broke one. So yes, totally, we’re so not talking about what I bought. Okay.

Anyway, went for the baptism service at arrow today for weiying, grace and ben’s water baptism. It was seriously awesome! I don’t know… baptism services always has that something, which really just makes you tear… Seriously! God’s presence was just there. And it was so so awesome =)

I’m currently talking to 3 people online and all 3 of them use the same font, same colour. Seriosly! I was asking myself why I’m so confused… now I know… Okay, random, sorry! And one of them was going to bed and he said this: beauty sleep needed for a princess in the eyes of God. That’s really amazing!

We all know that relationships are one of the top reasons which cause people to fall away from God. But you know, doesn’t mean that something like this which is deemed as “bad”, should be banned. You know, the more you tell a kid not to run to the road and play, the more the kid would want to do so.

Stop being legalistic. Seriously.

If you want to be legalistic, tell me, do you do your qt every single day?

Relationships are not bad, but when God is not the centre of it, and when God isn’t each party’s top priority or just the top of their list, then yes, the relationship becomes an idol. It’s like medicine. If you don’t take it at all, it’s bad, but if you’re reliant on it and you just rely on it and refuse that God is your healer… then well. Something’s wrong.

Speaking of which, I need to see an orthodontist soon, and honestly, I’m freaking out. Sigh.

Audrey and I are determined to finish up psych and econs by the end of this month! ABSOLUTELY!! We have to.

CAMP’S NEXT WEEKEND. AND I CAN’T WAIT!

Okay, toodles world!

xoxo

Spicy just like hot sauce.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: My neighbour’s music which is- Get up by Ciara & Chamillionaire [and it's repeating non-stop]
Mood: SAD

Let me tell you why I’m sad! BECAUSE I BROKE MY PAN COVER. THE PYRAX GLASS WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE STRONG, WASN’T THAT STRONG I GUESS. YES, IT’S FOR MY TEFAL PAN. AS THE GLASS SHATTERED, MY HEART SHATTERED TOO.

Honestly speaking, I really don’t know why I’m so worked up over a pan. In Ming Xian’s words, I sounded “devastated” and Diane said it was probably because it’s an expensive pan and I like it super a lot.

And I was so sleepy last night, I fell asleep on Zai’s bed for a good one hour and then when I went back to my apartment and broke the thing, I couldn’t sleep for a good 20mins.

Seriously Shiyou, IT’S JUST A FLIPPING PAN.

Or is it not? IT IS LA.

Yesterday, we had dinner at Diane’s place. It was fun! There were like heaps of us. Diane, Sharon, Rosemary, Fel, Grace, Carmen, Zai, Tim, Ming Xian, Jane, Me… and I don’t think I missed anyone out… Hee.

—

It’s really kinda sad that Christians these days are not only persecuted by non-Christians, but also by their fellow Christians. And as we look into the bible, the persecution from the past was more a physical one, but nowadays, it just seems more towards the emotional one.

So what was it when we said not to judge?

I know it’s really kinda hard and stuff, but when it is taken to a large-scale whereby thousands of people are involved… seriously… hmm.

—

Shermaine sent me this text just now… It was super funny!

“… You know I can’t get it out of my head that fact that you wore covered shoes that day. Salvation is near!…”

I think the day when I wear converse/sneakers… IT WOULD BE FUNNY. REALLY.

Anyway, I’m going to St Kilda’s this evening to watch the sunset. Should be fun =) But NO, it’s for psych.

Seriously, WHY DID I CHOOSE TO DO THAT SUBJECT? IT’S RIDICULOUS! Bahhh.

Zai was looking at my Mr Men and Little Miss poster… AND…

“You’re Little Miss Quick. ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!!!!”

“AM I GOING CRAZY?”

“RARRRR!!!!”

HAHAHA. All from her in the span of 3 seconds. And she wants me to tell all of you that she’s dying from her essay!

SO AMUSED!!!!

Okay, whatever! HAHA.

Toodles world!

xoxo

But I don’t know which way my brain is going.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: Wordplay [Lilywhite mix] by Jason Mraz
Mood: Huh?

The core of the apple is the thing that sustains the apple, but it is also the bit that people don’t want to touch, or rather, don’t want to eat.

And there you go, thoughts that can’t be sorted out properly.

It’s just getting more and more political each day.

She just wouldn’t allow anyone to get inside of her. It’s not because of fear or insecurity, but it’s just not her. So just leave her alone? Then again, that doesn’t seem like the best resort. So what now?

Love would all save us.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: Always & Forever by Planetshakers
Mood: OMG. I REALLY WOKE UP AT ONE.

Okay, so I spent the entire night doing accounting and it got so super annoying, I honestly thought I could punch somebody.

Okay, no worries. I’m not at all an angsty violent kid. Chill people.

So anyway, I’ve been really REFRESHED and I mean, REFRESHED by God on Sat and Sun. Careworkers course by Ps Alex and Ps Huw was just so so good. The way Ps Alex talks about Ps Henry Seeley is really funny. But anyway, not the point. But I was just telling God yesterday how I’m so so glad I’ve captured the heartbeat a long time ago and made the decision to love unconditionally like He did.

I’ve been getting revelations more than ever now and like, it’s just been really really good.

Although I seem like I dislike like everybody, especially children. OMG. Which reminds me. The BABY, i mean BABY, not toddler or whatsoever that was near me during church yesterday, said Hallejuah during worship. It was like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard for the longest time. And the baby kept smiling at me. Hee. But anyway, it’s a step by step improvement. Honest.

The church exists for God, and to exist for God, is to exist for people. If you keep going to church just for yourself, to refresh yourself and yourself only, to get saved all over again every week just for yourself, to get a touch just for yourself and yourself only, then there really isn’t a point. I mean, yes, we go to church for that. But additionally, we go because of others. So now, don’t come telling me that the messages/sermons in Planetshakers is superficial or shallow or whatever, because they exist for non-believers to understand as well. If they don’t get it, then the point is? That’s why we’ve got Urbanlife, Eternity Review, DNA, Inner Champ, Kingdom Purpose et cetera. If you just go to church only and expect to grow immensely in God, sorry, that’s not going to happen. You need to make it happen as well. You need to pursue God as well.

Okay, so my life… I’ve been pretty stressed up with some stuff and like assignments and uni and all, but other than that, everything has been okay. Honestly, my stress level is really improving a lot from last year. Maybe it’s because I’ve got assignments every week so it doesn’t seem all that bad anymore. I don’t know… really…

Oh and the whole transparent thingy, I’m really working on it. But while working on it, I realised how some people are so significant in my life, and how some aren’t… which is essentially kinda upsetting. But ah well. Whatever. As usual, I’ve already accepted heaps of things of life and I won’t say all were convicted by God, but some were. So well, yup!

I hardly talk about what I want to suddenly eat on my blogs, but right now, I really want to eat wanton mee. The dried kind. Ahhhh. You know, actually, I don’t think I’ve eaten it for a couple of months already, which is really really really sad.

Whatever, I’m starving and haven’t had lunch. I’m going to grab something from lygon and uh. meet Audrey at 3pm to do our QM. So my life comprises work work work.

Now, what was it when we said there’s gotta be more to life?

Toodles world!

xoxo

Listening to: Hero by Nickelback

Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: Everytime we touch [Yanou's Candlelight Mix] by Cascada
Mood: Super happy =)

Today was like so so good. Slept till like 12+. Totally awesome!! Finally!!!! Met Yan for a catch up at 2pm at QV. It was such an awesome catch up. Like 2 hours of talking and sharing about our heartbeat for God and His people.

Then came back, rot a bit. Camwhore with Zai, Ming Huei, Ming Xian and Jun Wei. Talk to Jun Wei and all that jazz. Hee. Then headed to Sharon/Rosemary/Fel’s place for DINNER which was YUMMYLICIOUS!!!!

Went to Melb Uni for the Night Market thingy, which was uh. kinda boring. Sorry. Then headed back to cs. Caught up with Zai which was good =))

And I just had a talking-rubbish-session with Zai and Ming Xian. Super fun because for the past few nights, we’ve been sleeping late cause we are doing assignments and whatnot.

I’ve been stressed for various reasons and thank God for you guys for helping me through all these flippingdocious things.

I’ve come to accept that in this world, not everyone will like everyone. Actually, I’ve accepted that fact like super long ago. It’s awesome that we’ve got such great church friends to support us and be our friends and that, we gotta take note that not everyone’s Christian who’s going to be nice. I’m not saying that non-Christians are not nice, there are always nice and not nice people in the world, and even in church and whatnot. But what I’m really trying to say is that don’t expect everyone out there to be nice and like you la.

I’ve got areas in my life which are like super annoying and people get annoyed at me for it. And I’m fine with it.

I don’t seek security in people.

People find our race, marathon, whatever you want to call it, stupid. People might not understand why we sacrifice our nights away doing church things, but we know, it is for a living cause.

“Many women do NOBLE things, but YOU surpass them all” Proverbs 31:29
I’m living for this.

Not because I’m the best or whatever, but because I’m serving alongside with such women help people be saved, and to disciple them. To take them on a journey.

I want to be an awesome woman of God. I will not go where His presence does not take me. I want to go into places and atmospheres will change, where miracles will happen, where people get set free.

That’s my heartbeat. To see people set free.

I will always pray the same prayer… since I was 14:

Love God. Love Life. Love People. <3

I think we’ve all been tired. Like really bad. And it’s really not because we haven’t been going to God or whatsoever only, but because we’ve been cultivating such nasty sleeping habits and hence, our biological clocks are so screwed up.

So I’m sorry if I’ve been stressing people out way too much. I know I always do that, but honestly, it’s been such an improvement from last year. Thanks God =D

Okay, I’ve got to get up in like less than 5 hours.

Toodles world!

xoxo

There’s a love that could fall down like rain.

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: We believe by Good Charlotte
Mood: Happy and Relief

Assignment week is overrr! Well, not really. But kinda, HAHA. But I’ve got another list of assignments piling up already. Sigh.

My blog has been inactive, not because I’m busy or anything, but like… I honestly have like nothing to blog about these days. And I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been dumb-fied because of uni or something. Hmm.

But I’ve been having the worst sleeping habits ever. Due to my awesome timetable of going to school thrice a week only, I basically sleep at unearthly hours everyday and the time that I wake up varies. Like on Tuesdays to Thursdays, I wake up at 9+, and the other days, I wake up at like 12. Sounds more like a holiday actually. Just with included stress. Because I remember that when I was back in S’pore, my parents would wake me up at unearthly hours. So yes. Thank God that they don’t know about my screwed up biological clock, and I don’t ever want them to find out. Thank you very much.

I guess a lot of people ask me why my blog header always says “I will still love You.”

It’s because in all my crappy circumstances which I sometimes blog about, I still want to love and honour God. Because of the seemingly scant salvations, I still want to love and follow Jesus. Because of the inaudible voice at times, I still want to love and obey the Holy Spirit.

Because He is Love.

Dear Friend, I <3 you. No matter how upsetting the situation is, know that God is always there and I’m always here. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known and I appreciate you a lot.

Toodles world! Audrey is shoo-ing me off my com.

xoxo

Loving you isn’t really something I should do

Venue: My apartment
Listening to: The right kind of wrong by LeAnn Rimes
Mood: OMG. I’VE GOT AN EXTRA HOUR

Honestly, the concept of daylight saving bewilders me heaps. Like seriously. So now, Melbourne is 2 hours ahead of Singapore and not the ridiculously big gap of 3 hours.

Anyway, you won’t believe what I did again yesterday. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. REALLY.

I went to Audrey’s and did nothing. I even slept at her place for a good 2 hours.

So today I woke up thinking it was the usual 12+, only then to realise oh right. Daylight saving’s over, so I gained an extra hour and it’s actually 11+. It’s absolutely shocking that it’s only about 2pm right now actually. Anyway, I’ve been eating and eating and stoning, and then I decided right, it’s about time to do my darn econs assignment. I realise that in uni, there really isn’t such a thing called homework.

Oh! And be extremely proud of me that I’ve used up about 430MB of my incredibly huge bandwidth of 6GB, in which everyone thinks it isn’t a lot. But hey, I’m not a huge fan of like youtube and don’t know what else.

Oh and to all the married people out there: 今生能做夫妻已有很深的缘份了,迁就一下吧.

Okay, I really need to study like really. I mean as much I seem so stressed and like OMG I WANT MY H1s, I don’t actually study that much, which is really really bad. Although I always seem so kan chiong and like OMG OMG OMG, but like yeah. I’m going to head back to econs and like yeah. Try and finish the silly thing and stop the panic. I’m trying okayyy!

Okay, I just called Jun Wei and I’ve decided not to do econs and just wait till tonight and panic with everyone else. So, I’m going to clean my apartment now.

Toodles world.

xoxo